Understanding Japanese Honorifics: A Comprehensive Guide

For the Japanese, respect is everything. Communication format, vocabulary, and behavior can all change depending on the interlocutor. To emphasize social status, the degree of respect, or closeness, native speakers use suffixes – Japanese honorifics. But how do we distinguish and use them? Let's figure it out!

San, Chan, Kun, Sama: The Basics of Japanese Honorifics

You may hear these four suffixes most often: their popularity in Japanese pop culture has made them recognizable even in Western countries. Their use depends on the context: age, setting, rank, etc. Let's consider them in more detail:

• San (さん). The default, gender-neutral suffix, roughly equivalent to “Mr.” or “Ms.” It works in both formal and informal settings and is the safe choice with anyone you do not know well: colleagues, your friends’ parents, shop staff. If you are unsure which suffix to use, use this one.
• Chan (ちゃん). It is used in two cases: as a diminutive for younger people or when addressing a close young girl – a friend, daughter, or sister. The suffix “chan” adds a touch of tenderness and care, something like “cat" and “kitty.”
• Kun (くん). Informal, used for boys and young men — between friends, or when addressing someone younger. In workplaces it also extends to junior colleagues regardless of gender, typically from a senior to a junior.
• Sama (様) expresses the highest degree of respect. For example, the head of a university, a company, and politicians are all referred to with this suffix. Service workers also use this suffix when talking to customers to emphasize their deep respect for them. The Japanese say “sama” when addressing deities, for example, “Kami-sama” (神様). 

Usually, suffixes are used when directly addressing a person and talking about them. For example, if you want to say, “I had lunch with Sakura today,” you get “今日はさくらちゃんと昼ご飯を食べました” (Kyō wa Sakura-chan to hirugohan o tabemashita) with the “chan” meaning Japanese girl. 

The one rule that applies to all of them: never use an honorific on yourself

Honorifics express respect towards someone else, so attaching one to your own name sounds arrogant at best and comical at worst. Introduce yourself as Tanaka desu, never Tanaka-san desu. The same goes for your own family members when you talk about them to outsiders: you refer to your own boss as Tanaka when speaking to someone from another company, even though you would call him Tanaka-san inside the office.

The exception you will hear in anime — a character calling themselves -sama or -chan — is played for effect precisely because it breaks the rule.

Suffixes you will meet beyond the basic four

• Senpai (先輩). Someone senior to you in the same school, club or company. Used on its own or after a name.
• Kouhai (後輩). The junior counterpart — but note that you rarely address someone as kouhai to their face; it is used to describe a relationship, not as a form of address.
• Sensei (先生). Teachers, but also doctors, lawyers, and published authors — anyone with recognised expertise.
• Shi (氏). Formal written Japanese: news reports and legal documents, referring to someone you have never met.

Dropping the honorific: yobisute

Calling someone by their bare name with no suffix is called yobisute (呼び捨て). Between close friends, family and partners it signals intimacy. Used on someone who has not invited it, it reads as rude or dismissive. As a learner, the safe rule is to wait until the other person drops your suffix first, and then follow.

Keigo: The Art of Formal Japanese

Did you think that’s it? We weren't kidding when we told you about the importance of respect in Japan. Native speakers use a system of formal speech, which includes forms of address, modified verbs, and different levels of respectful conversation. They are divided into three categories:

• Sonkeigo (尊敬語) – “honorable speech.” One of the highest forms of conversation with a “sama” meaning superior or the rules for mentioning them in a conversation. It is characterized by the transformation of verbs to highlight the listener's high status. For example, “taberu” (食べる) – “to eat” – turns into “meshiagaru” (召し上がる).
• Kenjougo (謙譲語) – “humble speech.” The mirror image of sonkeigo. Instead of elevating the other person, you lower yourself: you use humble verb forms for your own actions, which raises the listener by contrast. For example, instead of “suru” (する) – “to do” – you say “itasu” (いたす). Note that sonkeigo is used for what the other person does, and kenjougo for what you do. Mixing them up is one of the most common learner errors.
• Teineigo (丁寧語) – “polite speech.” This is the simplest and most casual option: you just need to show respect to the interlocutor. Unlike the other forms, you do not need to swap the verb for a different one: you simply use the polite endings “desu” (です) and “masu” (ます). For example, the plain verb “to speak” – “hanasu” (話す) – becomes “hanashimasu” (話します).

Which form should you start practicing first? Since you are unfamiliar with the native culture of Japan, it will take time to recognize and correctly use polite speech. Start simple: listen and practice in Teineigo and remember every honorific meaning because it is the universal option for everyday chatting or tourism.

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Examples of Honorifics in Everyday Conversations

This amount of information seems difficult to digest. But we have a universal way out of this situation – practice! The more you hear, read, and learn new words, the faster you will get used to the peculiarities of Japanese and will be able to distribute honorific elements intuitively.

Have you watched Naruto? Notice that the Toad Sage referred to Jiraiya with the suffix “chan?” That’s because Jiraiya was his student, whom he loved and valued, and even Naruto was surprised by the suffix chosen for such a strong ninja. It all depends on the context!

Common Mistakes and How to Avoid Them

Of course, making mistakes is normal. On the contrary, working on them improves your learning process, making it more individual. But there are points that many students slow down on. Let's look at a few of them:

• Don't overdo it with “sama”. It is genuinely formal: customers, deities, people well above you in rank. Using it casually on a colleague or acquaintance sounds sarcastic rather than respectful.
• Maintain a balance of Keigo. Of course, you need to be respectful and polite around business partners, teachers, or superiors. However, in an informal setting, Keigo can get in the way of getting closer to other people.
• Try to use fewer honorifics with friends. If you communicate with Japanese people, try to notice what suffixes they use for you. It will be weird if one of your friends says “chan” when you refer to them with “san,” Japanese used for a more formal setting. 

Give yourself time: listen more, practice more. Do not chase the result “here and now” – this is your path. Every mistake is a new experience, so do not be afraid to start over or correct yourself.

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Conclusion

Japanese is a high-context language, and honorifics are a large part of how that context gets expressed. Nobody expects a foreigner to use every suffix and every keigo form correctly — but the effort is noticed, and it is appreciated. If you remember only two things from this guide, make them these: use -san when in doubt, and never attach an honorific to your own name.